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Archive for February, 2014

Ssshhh…Ssshhh…

Beads of perspiration trickle down my cheek, my breathing becomes labored and I start seeing white spots clouding my vision.

I stare at the white paper in my hand trying to comprehend it while I hear scratching sounds of pen around me wishing I could be anywhere in the world except here.

“Sssh.. ssh”  I hear a voice behind me and on turning I see my FRIEND signaling me to pass my answer sheet.

Laughing I show him my empty sheet and we leave the exam hall smiling knowing that we both would flunk.

It is indeed true that friends have the capability to turn your worst moments into your best moments.

 

Friends

Friends forever!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

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indispire

 

Approximately 33.968 trillion miles from earth is Hell(Don’t ask me how I know). It is a mundane day in hell with its daily ritual in progress. In one corner is a big pot of oil with few people boiling in it, few others burning in fire, some being eaten by insects like leeches, remaining few being beaten by weapons having sharp edges like gada. “Ghazni” a voice shouts. Everyone is so relieved to hear the voice, for the intrusion has momentarily stopped their torture. It is Chitragupta standing with a big bound book searching for his target amongst the crowd of people. Ghazni is allotted for Agnikunda, a punishment wherein the guilty is roasted in agni kunda(fire) in inverted position with hands and legs tied under a stick. It is for people who steal others property by force. Ghazni is released from the stick and comes forward.

Chitragupta : It has been 983 years since you are a resident here.

Ghazni : Only 983? Am I being transferred to heaven?

Chitragupta gets irritated.

Chitragupta : 983 years in hell for 59 years in earth.

Ghazni is ashamed

Ghazni : Money and power made me blind.

Chitragupta : Good that you realized at least now after 983 years in hell. Btw you are eligible for parole.

Ghazni : Parole??

Chitragupta : It is a new scheme introduced by Yamraj wherein you are free to leave hell for a day.

Ghazni : Can I  get it extended for a week?

Chitragupta : You are not Mr. Sunjay Dutt..

Ghazni : What am I supposed to do? Am I free to go to earth?

Chitragupta : Yes. You should go to earth. Note how people remember you. List the mistakes you made during your life and given a chance to rectify them note them and submit a report to me.

Ghazni becomes happy that he is allowed to go to earth. He is excited to see earth after nearly 983 years. Waving good bye to his fellow mates at hell he starts his journey towards earth. As soon as Chitragupta had said earth, Ghazni wanted to visit India for it was the most beautiful and fertile country he had ever seen and the country where he had done most of his misdeeds. He wanted to know what history had written about him.

As he descends from the sky he sees tall buildings,people, vehicles and smoke everywhere. Wondering if it is the same earth or some other planet with humans he lands in the corner of a street watching the people pass by. He was quite sure no one would know him. Clueless as to where to start he finds a school. He is sure that somewhere in the pages of the history book his name would be mentioned. Scanning each and every class at last he finds a class room with History written on the black board and below it “Muhammed Ghazni”. Excited he enters the classroom and sits in the last bench next to a boy who is sleeping peacefully. First thing he hears from the teacher is “Ghazni looted India 17 times”. Feeling bad for himself he continues listening. The teacher continues

” In the name of Islam, he conquered the eastern Iranian lands and the northwestern Indian subcontinent from 997 to his death in 1030. During his rule, he invaded and plundered parts of Hindustan 17 times.”

He wonders about the wealth he had accumulated. He doesn’t remember enjoying them for constantly he was seeking more wealth. After death the wealth was of no use to him. He was an ordinary man being tormented in hell. He wonders what would have happened had he not been greedy. Would he have lived long? Would he have been happier? Would he have been in  heaven? With so many thoughts racing his mind he continues listening.

“Mahmud conquered and destroyed thousands of Hindu temples during his raids including the famous Somnath temple, which he destroyed in 1025 AD, killing over 50,000 people who tried to defend it. ”

He thinks about the innocent people whom he had killed ruthlessly. What harm had they done to him? He now understands the reason for his punishment in hell. He is sure that he will rot in hell for all that he had done. The teacher continues further

“He made great efforts to capture and destroy Somnath, in the hope that the Hindus would then become Muhammadans. As a result thousands of Hindus were forcibly converted to Islam. Mahmud had the gilded lingam of somnath temple broken into pieces and had them made into steps for his mosque and palace.”

He recalls those incidents as if they had happened yesterday. He feels disappointed in himself for making people convert religion. After death he had neither seen Lord Allah nor Lord Shiva. All he had seen was a single supreme power. He grieved for the fact that he had used religion to do crimes for god is one.

Feeling deeply ashamed and guilty he leaves the classroom making sure not to wake the boy who is sleeping. Chitragupta smiles as Ghazni enters hell for he had seen everything happening on earth. Chitragupta asks for the report. Ghazni hands over it.

Written inside are two things

1. Money is not everything in the world. Looting people is a cowardice act. You have no right to kill others, for all are the children of God.

2. Fighting in the name of religion is stupidity because there is only one God. We give various forms to him and worship.

A small smile appears in the corner of Chitragupta’s lips for he had achieved what he had wanted. Now it was time to call Hitler.

References :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahmud_of_Ghazni

http://orbat.com/site/cimh/kings_master/kings/mahmud_ghaznavi/Mahmud%20Ghaznavi.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chitragupta

For all those wondering what the title meant “Yamīn ad-Dawlah Abul-Qāṣim Maḥmūd Ibn Sebüktegīn”  is Ghazni’s full name.

Chitra gupta – Chitragupta is a god assigned with the task of keeping complete records of actions of human beings on the earth. Upon their death, Chitragupta has the task of deciding heaven or the hell for the humans, depending on their actions on the earth.

Disclaimer : This post is not intended to hurt anyone or any religion. It is written to convey the message that God is one.

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Those three words!!!!

Readers the three words are definitely not “I Love u” 🙂
I remember sitting in my 2nd grade class with my teacher telling “Whenever you meet someone you should greet them by asking “How are you?””. I thought it was a custom followed everywhere. But later I realized that the question will keep changing as you grow. As I turned 21 slowly the question “How are you” got replaced by “When’s your marriage?”.Yes those are the three words I got allergic to.
Wherever I go these serious people seems to be following me everywhere with the same question. Initially I was happy to answer their questions because it was nice that someone cared for you.

At 21

At 21

At 21

As years passed I got irritated with the same question.

At 23

At 23

At 23

At one stage my tolerance threshold got crossed.
At 25

At 25

At 25

Alas they transferred their serious “serious disease” to me. 😦

When I was a kid I used to love to go to marriages because it was infinite fun. I loved dressing like a princess, eating lots of sweets, taking pictures etc. But these serious people started cornering me in marriages too spoiling my fun.

Even at marriages

Even at marriages

Nowadays I avoid going to marriages to escape from these people thus sacrificing the fun and food along with it.

Even if I avoid marriages people come to my home to give invitations for their children’s marriage. Nowadays I hide whenever I see people with invitations entering my home because eventually the topic will come about my marriage. When they ask my parents “When are you planning marriage for your daughter?” and if my parents reply “May be in a year or two” you will get a disapproving, dissatisfied and serious “Still your daughter is unmarried” look. For those who have not experienced it have a look below.

Disapproving look

The disapproving look you get when you tell you are not getting married now 😦

Not only do you become a victim to these people if you are not married but due to other reasons as well.You become a target to these people if your answer to any of the following questions is No.

VIctims of serious people

Victims of serious people are those with answer No to the above questions

Take these serious people seriously because believe me or not they are responsible for half the diseases related to depression, heart attack and seriousness(Of course it is a disease). Imagine people drilling you down with the same question wherever you go and making you serious. Your mind starts to conceive that you are doing something wrong. You start thinking about it again and again causing depression and seriousness.

Currently there are twenty-three chapters, consisting of five hundred and eleven sections in our Indian Penal Code. I suggest the government to include 512th section to prevent these serious people from making our lives serious.

Section 512: Making people serious

512:Making people serious—(1) Where a person is made serious by a serious person for trivial matters making his otherwise non-serious life serious

Explanation : (1) Whoever makes a person serious shall be punished with life long ban from being serious, and banned from asking questions to people which will make them serious.

CLASSIFICATION OF OFFENCE
Punishment—Accused should always be smiling the rest of his life and stop being serious otherwise he will be imprisoned for life—Cognizable—Non-bailable—Triable by Court of Session—Non-compoundable.

COMMENTS
Applicability
Everyone in the planet.

Burden of Proof
A written complaint by anyone who was made serious.

The serious gang

The serious gang who become serious for ordinary matters.

Dear serious people,
Please understand that enquiring about people is different. It shows care and love. But making them serious by asking the same questions again and again is a criminal offense if my above suggestion to include section 512 is made legal :). People know to take care of themselves. So stop interfering in their lives trying to give suggestions, irritating and making them serious. There is no fixed age for anything in life. You have 100+ years to live and enjoy life. Why try to finish things in a hurry in life.

The only cure known for seriousness as on 23/02/2014 is

5 star - Cure for serious people

5 star – Cure for serious people

The serious gang - made unserious

The serious gang – made unserious

Disclaimer : This post is a fun post not intended to hurt anyone or make them serious. In case it made you serious please try the cure suggested above.

I wrote this post to participate in Condition serious hai contest conducted by the Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page

The pictures in this post were created using http://www.toondoo.com/ and of course MS Paint 🙂

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